This is not an ad for Trader Joe's

I love Trader Joe's. Seriously, Enrico sometimes worries that the Trader Joe's people have gotten to me in my sleep at some point and implanted a computer chip in my head, or my butt, or wherever They implant computer chips, to make me love their products. I have scoffed at this suggestion of nefarious doings by the nice people of Trader Joe's; I have argued that they simply have darned good stuff at darned good prices.

As I understand the Trader Joe's business model, they make it their business to find really good products, and they carefully select certain items to be sold under the Trader Joe's label. Sometimes they buy things in large quantities from little producers, getting big discounts and bringing undiscovered treasures to the attention of a broader world. Anyway, I don't know exactly how it works, all I know is that I love their stuff. Especially the pre-prepared things - the frozen pizzas! The faux chicken potstickers! The pineapple salsa! But there's also the imported Irish cheese! The insanely cheap organic salad greens! The phosphate-free laundry detergent sold for one third the cost charged by my local food co-op! The $4 wine!

So I have confidently defended Trader Joe's from any and all accusations of subtle mind control techniques, until yesterday, when I bought a tub of mint cookies from them which are absolutely, positively, the best mint cookies I have ever eaten - and I'm a big mint cookie fan. They might even be the best thing I've ever eaten, period. So good, that a little nagging suspicion has taken hold in my mind that they might, in fact, be part of a brilliant plot for world domination. Which, to fair, doesn't necessarily mean an evil plot for world domination. Maybe Trader Joe's just wants to dominate the world to bring their superior standards of quality to all of the planet's people.

But in any event, I'm going to have to find that doctor from the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and have him erase all memory of these cookies.