The dork of the wolf pack

"I took a picture of Toby in his coat so I can post it on the Internet with my story about our storm experiences, but I realize you object out of some sense of masculine solidarity."

"It's not about his masculinity. It's about his canine dignity."

"Canine dignity?"

"Sure. If he were to meet a pack of wolves while wearing a green fluffy coat, what would they think of him?"

"Whether or not he was wearing a green fluffy coat, I'm pretty sure they'd conclude he was some kind of retarded* cousin. Which is pretty much accurate."

"They'd eat him, is what they'd do."

"Nah. I think they'd take him under their wing as a sort of lovable village idiot. The green coat would just seal the deal."

* I just want to point out that I realize the word "retarded" is offensive when applied to people, and it's not a term I would customarily use, but we ARE just talking about dogs here - my dogs, in fact, whom I love. So if you feel an urge to send me hate mail, let me respectfully suggest you need to lighten up.