Ok so it's not a goiter

It turns out a goiter is an enlarged thyroid, which is not what the ping-pong-ball-like growth under my chin would be. It's probably just an enlarged lymph node, suggesting that my immune system is amped up to fight something. Given my chronic allergy problems, most likely my system has ramped up against some damn thing that it shouldn't worry about at all, but, you know, it doesn't always have the best judgment.

That's what my friend the doctor said. Of course, she pointed out, she is a gynecologist, and I should take any diagnosis involving my immune system and my head with that caveat in mind. She also suggested that I could continue refering to my ping-pong ball as my goiter, if it amuses me to do so. Which it does. To me, goiter sounds like one of those quaint, misunderstood ailments that people don't actually get any more, like gout (which people do still get, and which I had once), and consumption (which people totally still get, only they don't call it that any more), and chilblains (yeah, I have no idea on that one). Or the vapors. Maybe next week I could beg off my business trip to Texas on the grounds that I have a case of goiter and the vapors.