Top ten list

Top ten things I wish I could communicate to my dogs, once and for all:
1. You do not need to kick that other dog's ass.
2. Gnawing on my shoes while I'm putting them on will not make your walk happen any faster.
3. The furnace will not hurt you.
4. While we appreciate the sentiment, we do not need your assistance with grooming ourselves.
5. No matter how long we may go away, we will always come back to you.
6. Trust me, you don't want to actually catch a cat.
7. Your life would not be better if you were in charge of this pack.
8. Hugging is ok - nobody is trying to hurt anybody here.
9. The purpose of a walk is to WALK, not to sniff.
10. Don't eat bees.