Bacteria's right to life!

In the car just now, I heard a report on NPR about how some states have laws pending in their legislatures (how seriously I'm not sure) to allow pharmacists to refuse to fill presciptions for which they have "moral objections." This is, of course, all about those pharmacists who think God intended women to have as many babies as they absolutely can until they die tryin' to have one more - so those pharmacists don't have to fill birth control prescriptions.

Now I think it goes without saying that this is about the stupidest thing anyone has ever ascribed to a higher power. (The final word on this subject was laid down in Monty Python's Meaning of Life, with their classic "Every Sperm is Sacred" song-and-dance number. 'Nuff said.) So I actually didn't bother with too much righteous indignation on this one. Rather, my mind went to all the other ways this law could be construed.

After all, if there are pharmacists ignorant enough to think that "when a sperm is wasted, God get quite irate!", the other "moral objections" lurking out there might be a real hoot. "I'm sorry sir, but I believe bacteria have a right to life, so I'm exercising my state-given right to refuse you the ciprofloxin your doctor prescribed for that oozing case of pink-eye." Or someone might withhold topical treatments for herpes or crabs or yeast infections because YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T TOUCH YOURSELF DOWN THERE you might go blind. Some pharmacist might have moral objections to antidepressants since angst is a gift from God to remind us about original sin and how crappy we are and all that.

It wouldn't just have to be fundamentalist religious objections. Perhaps a woman pharmacist will refuse to dispense Viagra until they take those goddam commercials off the TV. The pharamceutical companies themselves are not above criticism, we could have pharmacists boycotting certain companies, like in the South African divestiture battles of the 1980s, until they do right by the African AIDS crisis or are more honest about their risk research.

Sorry. I know I shouldn't be sneering about people's moral certainties or cavalier about batshit crazy laws, but I actually kind of hope this passes in a couple of places, for the pure entertainment value of seeing it challenged.