The Oracle speaketh

Me: Will I have my presentation done before I have to give it on Thursday?
Magic 8-Ball: Concentrate and ask again.

Me: Will I get off my ass and get my flippin' presentation done in the next 72 hours?
Magic 8-Ball: Yes.

Me: Ok. Good to know. Will turbulence on the plane prevent me from working on it en route?
Magic 8-Ball: Outlook not so good.

Me: Outlook not good from my standpoint, or from the standpoint of the turbulence? I mean, are you saying I will be stymied in my desire to work on the plane, or that the turbulence will be stymied in its drive to express itself creatively and, you know, turbulently?
Magic 8-Ball: Most likely.

Me: All right, I can see you're looking for yes-or-no questions here. Fair enough. I will rephrase: Can I count on airplane time to finish my presentation?
Magic 8-Ball: It is decidedly so.

Me: Cool! I feel so much better. Hey, as long as we're having this little chat - should I clean the bathroom tonight?
Magic 8-Ball: My reply is no.

I'm thinking of mailing a whole crate of Magic 8-Balls to the White House.