My first time on the radio

Yesterday as I drove north for a meeting, leaving the little bubble of like-minded thinking that is Seattle, I passed a van with a big sign in the window: "Marriage = 1 man + 1 woman." Now I'm already on record commenting that I don't understand this mindset - this isn't yet another blog on that same subject - but as I passed the van, I saw a man and a woman, probably in their late 30s, white and overweight and looking every bit (ugh, snobbish stereotype to follow, I'm sorry) like typical middle-everything Americans. And I thought to myself, as always, "WHY DO YOU CARE?" Why would these people care if two individuals of the same gender choose to share their life together? How can it possibly affect life in white conservative suburbia?

Simultaneously, I was listening to a discussion on NPR about China and Taiwan. Apparently China has done some saber-rattling this week. As I listened to the panel of experts, a familiar thought was in my mind: "WHY DO YOU CARE?" Why does China care so much about this island? I never understand why one people or country forces another to stay "in the family" against their will. It's like, "I'm breaking up with you," - "No, I won't let you!" I mean, have some pride, they don't like you, they don't want to hang with you and be your friend. It's painful, maybe, but let it go. I understand sometimes there are seaports or oil pipelines involved, but China and Taiwan have been separate for 50 years. Whatever was lost in that separation - everyone's used to living without it by now.

Now, my mama raised me to always try to put myself in other people's shoes. It's a lesson that has served me well, overall. Professionally, it's an asset, helping me to bring people together, but a double-edged one since seeing all 32 sides of an issue at once can be paralyzing. Regardless, the point is - if I don't have some little hook into the other person's thinking, even the tiniest window of insight or empathy, I feel a little unmoored, flying blind. So, at that moment, coming right on the heels of the marriage thing, it actually mattered to me A GREAT DEAL why China cares so much about Taiwain. "It used to be ours and we want it back" was not going to cut it - my grounding in reality demanded more explanation. (I know, it sounds crazy, but that's just how I am. If my husband had a buck for every time I've asked him "what do you think is going through the dog's head right now?" - he'd probably be a wealthy man.)

So, having by now pulled safely into a Starbucks parking lot, I made my first-ever call into an NPR show. The woman who screens the calls asked me where I was, and the nature of my question or comment. I said "I want to know why they care. Why does China care so much about this?" Even as I said that it felt lame, and when she put me on hold, I fully expected to languish there for a while, eventually to be told they were so sorry but they'd had so many callers and just couldn't fit me in. But to my surprise, she put me through as the very first caller.

"Flora is in her car in Everett, and she has a question for our guests," I suddenly heard the host say, "Go ahead, Flora." I asked my question, and at first I thought the expert panelist weren't going to be of help - to my alarm, they led with "well it used to be one country and the Chinese want it back" - but a more nuanced discussion eventually illumated matters somewhat. I still don't truly understand why it's worth all the strife, but I did get the little hook of insight that I needed to prevent my sense of reality from short-circuiting (I mean, who wants their sense of reality to implode in a suburban Starbucks parking lot? that would just suck). So, you know, disaster averted. Plus, I got to be on the radio!